Skip "Fake It Til You Make It" If You Want Real Confidence

Barb Van Hare

You have probably heard the mantra, "fake it 'til you make it," even in the business world.

You have probably heard the mantra, "fake it 'til you make it," even in the business world. Many professionals have widely adopted this catchphrase to navigate through uncertain situations and challenges and propel themselves into leadership roles.

While there is a grain of truth to the idea—after all, pushing oneself out of their comfort zone often results in growth—relying solely on this approach can sometimes lead to a shaky foundation for genuine leadership confidence.


Understanding True Confidence

Confidence isn’t about pretending to know everything. Instead, it’s about understanding and accepting what you don’t know and having the courage to admit it. True leaders are those who can confidently say, “I don’t have the answer right now, but I will find out,” instead of always feeling pressured to have an immediate response.

Let's delve deeper into what constitutes true confidence.


Self-Awareness

At the core of genuine confidence lies a profound sense of self-awareness. It's about knowing your strengths and, equally importantly, recognizing areas where you may need growth. This self-knowledge enables leaders to delegate when necessary, ask for help when needed, and lead with assurance when they are in their element.


Acceptance of Uncertainty

A truly confident individual doesn't shy away from uncertainty but embraces it. They understand that the future is unpredictable, and while they might not have all the answers, they possess the skills, resourcefulness, and resilience to navigate through unexpected challenges.


Receptiveness to Feedback

One of the hallmarks of a confident leader is the willingness to listen to feedback. They're not threatened by criticism but see it as an opportunity to learn, grow, and better themselves. This is because their self-worth isn't tied to being right all the time but to growth and continuous improvement.


Building on Experience

Real confidence is also built on a foundation of experiences. Every challenge faced, every failure encountered, and every success celebrated contribute to a reservoir of knowledge and expertise. A confident leader draws from this reservoir to make informed decisions, provide guidance, and navigate the team through complex situations.


Empowerment of Others

True confidence is not just about believing in oneself but also about believing in the capabilities of others. Confident leaders empower their teams, trusting them to take initiatives, make decisions, and contribute meaningfully to the organization's goals.


The Value of Authenticity

When leaders present a version of themselves that is genuine, their teams are more likely to trust them. Authenticity fosters deeper connections and cultivates a work environment where individuals feel valued and understood. Compare this with the hollowness one might feel when they’re simply putting on a brave face; it's clear which approach is more sustainable and rewarding in the long run.

Curated images and personas are often showcased as reality, so the power of authenticity stands out even more starkly. Authenticity, especially in leadership, isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a critical component of effective and inspirational leadership. Here's why:


Trust Building

Authentic leaders build trust quickly. When team members believe their leader is genuine in their intentions and actions, they're more likely to trust that leader's decisions and vision. Trust is the foundation of any successful team, and when leaders are open, honest, and consistent in their actions and words, this foundation is solidified.


Creating Safe Spaces

An authentic leader often cultivates an environment where employees feel safe to be themselves. This means sharing their ideas without fear of ridicule, acknowledging their mistakes without concern for excessive punishment, and showing up as their authentic selves without the mask of pretense. Such environments tend to be more innovative and collaborative.


Relatability

Nobody's perfect. Leaders who acknowledge their mistakes, share their journey, and communicate their vulnerabilities are relatable. Team members see parts of their own journey reflected in these leaders and feel a sense of camaraderie, which can often lead to enhanced loyalty and dedication.


Decision Integrity

Authenticity ensures that decisions made by leaders are aligned with both the company's values and their personal values. When decisions are rooted in authenticity, they are more consistent, understandable, and defensible. This kind of decision-making garners respect and understanding, even if the decision itself isn’t popular.


Long-term Relationships

Authenticity is the key to building and maintaining long-term professional relationships. Whether it's with team members, peers, stakeholders, or customers, authentic interactions lay the groundwork for relationships built on mutual respect and understanding. Such relationships are invaluable in business, leading to collaborations, partnerships, and ventures rooted in trust.


Personal Well-being

On a more personal note, authenticity reduces the stress of maintaining a facade. Leaders who are genuine have a clearer conscience, are more at peace with their decisions, and experience less anxiety related to their role.


Embracing Vulnerability

Believe it or not, vulnerability can be a powerful tool in a leader's arsenal. By showing that you, too, are human, capable of mistakes, fears, and uncertainties, you allow your team to relate to you. This fosters empathy, understanding, and a collaborative spirit. Brene Brown, a renowned researcher and storyteller, has spoken extensively about the strength of vulnerability. It's a pathway to bravery, creativity, and meaningful connection.

The corporate landscape often celebrates unflappable perfection, so allowing oneself to be vulnerable can seem counterintuitive. However, it doesn't display weakness when leaders open up about their challenges, doubts, or concerns. Instead, it showcases their humanity. This act of courage can dismantle barriers of hierarchy, facilitating open communication and fostering a culture where team members feel valued not just for their successes but also for the unique experiences and insights they bring to the table.

When vulnerability is embraced, it shifts the focus from individual infallibility to collective resilience. It underscores the idea that while we all have our moments of doubt or difficulty, together, as a cohesive unit, we can overcome, learn, and grow.



Wrapping Up

While "faking it 'til you make it" may offer short-term solutions, building authentic confidence is a journey, one that involves introspection, learning, and connection. As leaders or aspiring leaders, let's aim for a deeper, genuine confidence that propels us forward and brings along everyone around us in that journey of growth. Remember, true leadership is not just about leading but inspiring others to lead as well.


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